starting out

hello….this is my first blog ever. i am going to remain anonymous at the beginning as this is all new to me and i’m having a difficult time with infertility right now. i am hoping that i can use this blog to help others as well as provide an outlet for me to share my inner thoughts about starting a family.

my dh and i have entered the 4th decade of our lives and are still childless. we have been married for almost 6 yrs and have a wonderful marriage. i truly am blessed to have him in my life. we’ve had several ivf’s now and had two chemicals and a miscarriage. we have 3 embryos left, 1 untested blastocyst and 2 normal (tested) blastocysts. my uterus doesn’t cooperate…it doesn’t get thick enough in fet prep, it is only half-sized (unicornuate) and there is more. there are no real show stoppers other than my age and maybe some uterine issues. we just got a negative after transferring one untested blastocyst. we only transfer one at a time because twins would be impossible in me. we just don’t want to have to consider that even if the chances are as thin as my lining.

we are also at a point where we may start the adoption process. i’ve been reading a lot about it. we went to an information session about 2 yrs ago now. we’ve had some positive results that keep us in the ivf game (normal blastocysts and m/c), and we contemplate whether it is good for us to pursue both at the same time. they are almost counter-intuitive….it’s like if you start the adoption process while doing ivf you are saying the ivf won’t work, and if you do ivf when going through with adoption, you are saying that you aren’t whole heartedly into the adoption process and a biological child is important to you.

so, here i am. i may not have words of wisdom now, i may not have a clear path that you can follow, i may not have many followers, but if there are any of you out there fighting the same battles, please feel free to post with your experiences, advice, happy thoughts, unhappy thoughts, whatever. just be nice, ok? ha-ha.

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