1 yr Blog Anniversary

It was almost one year ago that I started my blog.  As I sit here and reflect on the past year, the biggest thing I can think of is the amount of personal change I went through.  Getting to the point of accepting my infertility and working towards an adoption with an open heart took me a lot of time.  The accepting infertility actually took years, but this past year, I finally swallowed it.  I finally said that although I still had grief, I could live my life and that things could be good for me, for us, for my future family.  I had a BFN at C.CRm with a normal blast in the end of 2010 and was dealing with the aftermath in the early part of the year.  We thought through GC options and decided to try one more time with my uterus and had a chemical in April with a normal blast.  I met with a therapist individually for a few months and her words of wisdom helped me to start to heal in a way that I hadn’t been able to on my own, or in discussions with family or friends.  I joined a support group that she led and met women going through the same thing, but all at different stages.    We attended adoption seminars and talked with some families and started looking forward to creating our family through adoption.   We completed the home study process.  I announced our plans to several people at work, more of our acquaintances, the lady at the bank, etc.  And now, as you all know, we have our surprise and are working through the mixed emotions of joy and fear.   Other things have happened throughout the year as well that tested my strength.  But, considering all of this, I can say that I am proud of  the amount of personal growth I have achieved.   I think I would be saying this even if the current events weren’t true.  I know this because I was starting to see my old self come back, not 100% but a lot more than I had in years.   

My wish for 2012 is that we all continue to have personal growth and that we can all look back in a year’s time and say that we are better off than we were before.  No matter what we are all facing, whether it be creating our families, relationship issues, family issues, work stresses, financial stresses, etc, I wish for everyone it is better next year than this year. 

All this being said, I cannot say that my nerves haven’t been tested to the extreme lately.  We did have another ultrasound yesterday and all looked good.  The days leading to it were tough, but I tried to stay on an even keel.  We’ve got weekly appointments for the next three weeks.  The OB did suggest that we get a peri involved now while things are good to see what they recommend considering my UU and other risk factors (fibroid).  I still have my guard up, but we do need to make appointments with doctors in advance.  It’s not like I can say, “Hey things went well today, Mr. Peri, can I meet with you tomorrow at 9?” 

Wishing you all the best for the New Year.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MyTwoLines
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 07:32:20

    2011 was a huge year for you! And while I’m all about personal growth in the spiritual, emotional, and intellectual side I’m super excited for the physical growth you’re going to have this year!!

    Reply

  2. soulshine
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 10:09:52

    daisysmom,
    just reading thru the past year you have had, it is both so exhausting and impressive. it is really a great quality in you that you can see and acknowledge the growth you have had in the face of all of these challenges. i think so very highly of you, and i also hope that 2012 continues to be one of growth in all aspects of your life.

    making those appointments are tough, but it is just paperwork… nothing changes or affects what is going on inside right now- that is a world in and of itself, so if you need to make some appointments, whatever, make them and don’t worry or dwell too much that they are out there. i am glad you are getting a peri in the picture, and glad that you have a few more u/s’s to tide you thru the days and weeks ahead. you are doing everything right, including allowing the nerves and all of the feelings to come, to feel them, and to move forward.

    i continue to think of you and hope for the absolute best for each day that passes.
    big hugs to daisy and you… do you have any new year’s eve/day plans? music? family? chocolate?! enjoy the weekend, and please keep updating if you want!

    Reply

  3. ebc
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 11:15:57

    so very hopeful for your UU to be a fabulous, stretchy, well functioning home until 40 wonderful weeks for your growing kiddo. as you know, we threw everything and the kitchen sink at mine…not sure it was all needed in the end, but i have no way to know what was/wasn’t needed and no regrets doing all that we did. wishing you and your new peri wisdom for any decisions that arise in relation to the UU and fibroid!

    Reply

  4. Kelley
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 12:54:01

    Sounds like a good idea getting the peri on board and having a plan.

    Wishing you a wonderful 2012!

    Reply

  5. Cassie
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 22:43:40

    This has indeed been an eventful year. I’m so happy that it is ending on a positive note for you and I wish you the happiest New Year imaginable!

    Reply

  6. LisainSK
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 16:07:31

    I couldn’t be happier that 2011 ended on such a miracle for you! Happy NY!

    Reply

  7. soulshine
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 07:10:21

    how are you holding up, daisysmom?!

    hope things are going well, & you are staying warm in this freezing weather we are having!

    just checking in 😉

    Reply

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