Relief

I feel relief today and I think I may be able to start to enjoy this pregnancy.  I went to my OB today for one of my biweekly checkups.  She checked the heartbeat via doppler (over 150 bpm) and discussed the results of my cervical measurement from a few weeks back.  She asked me if I had any questions, so I asked if she got my integra.ted test results yet.  She asked if I had the second blood draw.  Being surprised she didn’t know that, I told her that the draw was a week ago Monday.  She looked in my folder and found the results.  She told me it was negative.  She said for my age, the risk of the baby having a chromosomal error is 1/40, but with my blood work and NT scan results, my risk was brought down to 1/3,000.  I bet you can imagine the relief I felt once those results were given.  I told her that I was sweating that one out for a while.  She almost acted like this wasn’t that big of a deal…that she somehow assumed I’d get that result.  I guess she based it on my NT scan, which she knew back in week 12.  She had told me at that time that those results alone dropped our risk significantly. 

It was so weird for me to quiet my mind the last few weeks waiting for these results.  I’m used to a call regardless of the results.  I guess it’s engrained in me from all the years of treatment and hanging on that call….and usually a call you’d get the day of the blood draw.   My SIL and best friend told me that if I didn’t get a call then that would mean everything was ok and they’d tell me at next appointment.  I thought that but didn’t truly believe it.  These doctors just don’t understand the mind of an infertile or someone who has been trying for a baby for over 6.5 years.  It feels weird to be in the same boat as the average pregnant woman.  I guess I could have pushed it and called and asked for my results, but I didn’t. 

DH is also feeling much better now.  We’ve both been so reserved.  I think we will slowly begin to enjoy where we are. 

I provide updates on my blog with a heavy heart for those still waiting to be on the good side of the stats or still waiting for their babies through adoption.  I know that we are not out of the woods and have certainly not crossed over.  I just hope that everyone gets their day.  I truly do.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cassie
    Feb 16, 2012 @ 22:07:02

    Wonderful news! I know you must be so relieved. And yes, isn’t it weird to be treated like a “normal” patient after all that we’ve been through. I’m wishing you smooth sailing from here on out!

    Reply

  2. PBJmom
    Feb 16, 2012 @ 22:19:27

    This is so excellent! I am amazed you were so patient. I would have been calling the OB daily ;). I’m so glad you and DH can finally relax.

    Reply

  3. Flygirl555
    Feb 16, 2012 @ 22:26:20

    Daisy, so happy to hear how great your pregnancy is going and that you are able to relax a bit. How fun that you are now in maternity clothes (even though they may not be the most stylish). Relish every second…it goes by so, so fast.

    Reply

  4. MyTwoLines
    Feb 17, 2012 @ 06:37:02

    Hooray and relief indeed! So happy to hear all of this!

    Reply

  5. someday-soon
    Feb 17, 2012 @ 10:51:23

    I’m a new follower and a fellow IFer. I found you when searching information on FETs (I’m looking at doing a natural FET) and have read your posts since you went through your last one.

    Congratulations on your wonderful test results!!! I know it’s so hard to let go of the “everything has gone wrong up until now, why would it go right” feelings and to also not let survivor guilt take over. This is your time in the sun…you worked long and hard for it so live it up =)

    Reply

  6. Kelley
    Feb 17, 2012 @ 12:13:14

    Awesome news! I am so happy for you.

    As someone else said, enjoy this time as much as you can (I know it is hard for us IF’ers) but it does pass so quickly…

    Kelley

    Reply

  7. LisainSK
    Feb 17, 2012 @ 21:15:01

    This is awsome news!!! I am even more happy that you are starting to feel less fearful about things and able to enjoy this miracle!! Take care!

    Reply

  8. soulshine
    Feb 18, 2012 @ 14:40:54

    great news!
    to some people, this number seems like no big deal, especially if they are expecting it to be negative, but until you hear the number and feel that sense of relief yourself, it is major stress! i am glad you got good news.

    i know you are conscious of others in the trenches, but you know, we all care about you, and want good things for you, too. i love your updates, and there is something so special about what you are experiencing right now- we all know and respect how miraculous this pregnancy is for you, and of course until you officially ‘cross over’, its not like anything is taken for granted. but each update you give, and things are going good for you, on your journey, it is really a triumph for so many of us who were hoping for you all along. your life, your story, has touched mine, and i really appreciate your willingness to share the experience of what you are going thru now.

    thanks for the update, and as always, thinking of you as each day passes! hello to daisy 🙂

    Reply

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