9 months old today

It’s hard to imagine that my little peanut, N, is 9 months old today.  That means, it’s been 18 months since he was conceived, give or take.   Several months before that we started the adoption process, leaving treatment behind.  But now, we are thinking about it again.  We have our two frozen embryos in CO…two blasts.  Now we have to start thinking of it again.

We have a regroup with Dr. Sch next week.  The whole idea of this seems so foreign to me, but at the same time, seems all to familiar.   We will have to talk about the cycle details, my anatomy, the travel logistics (which get more complicated with an infant in tow).    I talked to a nurse last week who said that I may need to get an ultrasound or HSG in CO.  I said, “I just had one after I had a fibroid removed, which was after I gave birth, wouldn’t that suffice?”.  She said he usually likes to do his own work.  So, I have to anticipate that he may want me to fly out there for that prior to the transfer…or at least maybe we could do a contingent transfer, contingent on a good US prior to the transfer.  I will have to start thinking of a natural or medicated FET, whether to transfer 1 or 2,etc.  It just all seems foreign to me.  I’m curious to see what Dr. Sch thinks considering that we had a natural conception after all those failures.

I’ve spent the last 9 months thinking about feedings, pumping, storage, sleep cycles, sleep schedules, solid food introduction, milestones, teaching, loving, and entertaining the baby…etc.  I can’t imagine focusing on something else, other than N. 

Also, I’ve always had these 2 frozen embryos in the back of my mind…”well, maybe if not this cycle” or “maybe once we get the adoption process started, while we wait, we could try those”….”maybe one of them will be our miracle”.   Now that I have N, it is definitely different, but I still want one or both of these embryos to flourish and develop into a baby.   However, I know all too well that chances are it will not work….it has not worked before, even with chromosomally normal embryos. 

I wonder how I would feel if they don’t work and we are “done done”.   I can picture how I think I would feel, but you don’t know until you’ve gone through it. 

On a lighter note, my little peanut wants to “walk” everywhere.  He doesn’t seem to have any use for crawling.  He sat up unassisted very early and has been walking around, with my help of course, for weeks now, but he doesn’t want to crawl.  It’s funny.  My DH and I were early walkers, so we’ll see.  Here’s a recent picture of him…


Other than this stuff, my Mom gifted her beach house to my brother and I.  We are buying him out of it, so we’ll be taking on that responsibility very soon.   We rent to students during the school year and weekly in the summer.  It’s right near the beach (5 min walk).  We’ll be taking one of the weeks for our first family vacation this summer.  I can’t wait!!! 

Hope everyone is doing well.  It’s been slow here in blogland for me.  I am torn between what to do with my blog, however, I figured I’d keep it going until our family is pretty much set.  Right now, I just have no idea what will happen in the next year or so.  So, if you feel like it, please follow along for the ride!  😉